NAMI HelpLine Learnings: How to Prevent Suicide

The National Alliance on Mental Illness has so many resources & I wanted to highlight those most relevant and necessary to every person.

A NAMI HelpLine specialist is a volunteer position. Once a week for the past 6 months I spent 4 hours taking calls and navigating people to mental health resources. Think of it as the mental health yellow pages.

I’ll make this short.

Suicide takes too many lives, especially considering how preventable it could be if we were better prepared. That’s why you should take a few minutes to learn LAYR.

Disclaimer: This is not formal training. If someone is having a mental health emergency, call 988. There are steps you can take to be prepared for these emergencies.

LAYR is a framework. I learned it in my training. This is not a substitute for that training. I’m chopping out a lot of information for the sake of brevity. LAYR stands for: Listen, Ask, Yes, Refer.

Listen

“They’re better off without me”, “I can’t keep doing this”, etc. Most people don’t come out and say it, “I don’t want to live anymore.” You need to listen for the cues: hopelessness, guilt, despair.

This is counterintuitive, but if someone was going through a rough period, and then they’re suddenly happy — that could be a cue. It could mean that they’ve set in place plans to end their life and that they’re relieved.

Ask

At first, this was a hurdle for me as a volunteer. It’s awkward for anyone, but if you suspect something is up, just ask. There are different sets of questions with different risk rankings. It’s not practical to go through it all. I’ll suggest some below. Just remember to be direct. Don’t beat around the bush. You asking does not give them the idea to kill themself. There is no evidence to support this. In fact, you asking gives them the opportunity to address it and seek help. You asking could save their life.

“Do you wish you weren’t alive?” “Do you have thoughts of killing yourself?”

“Have you made plans to kill yourself?” “Have you started to act on any of these plans?” “Are you going to carry out your plans?”

Yes

If they answer “Yes” to questions roughly in the second category, there are 2 things you need to do. (1) Appreciate their honesty (2) Convey the seriousness of it. Example: “I’m glad you’re sharing this with me. What you’re experiencing is serious. Let’s get you some help.”

Refer

“Let’s contact a crisis helpline together.” Offer to dial 988 with them.

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More NAMI resources on suicide.

At the end of the day, just ask. It can’t hurt to ask.

For you, it’s momentary discomfort. For them, it’s relief from constant suffering. A relief that could help save their life, rather than end it.

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Big fat disclaimer: This article I wrote is not endorsed by NAMI. I volunteered on the NAMI HelpLine, but I do not represent the official views of the organization.